When the Light is Ripped From Your Grasp
by mylifeonpaper
Summary: Katniss and Peeta's lives changed a little less than a year ago for the better. Now the day before it becomes a year, what they've loved, cherished, and protected is ripped from their grasp. Will they be able to make it through together or will what they have together be taken away too?
1. Chapter 1

**Hi this is my first fic and I really hope you enjoy. Feed back is greatly appreciated.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games.**

Peeta's Pov

I come back downstairs and catch Katniss just before she walks out the door with Acron in his car seat on her arm. "Where are you two going?" I say.

"Must you be so _loud_?" Katniss says in a soft voice hinted with annoyance.

"Sorry I didn't realize he was sleeping. Hey buddy." I say in a low tone while leaning down to kiss our son.

"I'm just headed out to grab some last minute decorations for this one's party. It's his first birthday and I just want it to be perfect." Katniss says while grabbing her purse.

"What do we not have?" I say a little annoyed, thinking I bought everything we needed yesterday liked she had asked me too.

"You forgot tablecloths, papertowels, paper cups, balloo-..."

"Alright, alright," I say interrupting her, "Just let me grab my coat and I'll come too." I say getting ready to run up the stairs.

Katniss grabs my arm, stopping me in my tracks. "I love you and you know I do, but you become more of a distraction than actually helping me."

"Well then…" I say, in a childish tone. "Here I'll keep Acron here and that way he won't have to be a distraction either!" I tell her while gently taking the car seat from her arm.

"That's okay. I love spending time with him and anyway I'll...need his opinion to make sure he likes what I buy. It's his birthday you know…" Katniss says putting the car seat back on her arm.

"He's a _baby_…"

"With an opinion!" She says with finality apparent in her voice. And with that she walks out the door. I follow her out there and open the car door for her. As she buckles Acron in she says, "I love you and I'm sure Haymitch and Effie could use some help with the remodeling _if_ you're feeling useless."

"Fine, but be safe!" I say. Then I watch as she gets in and drives away. Then, I decide to take her advice and go to help Haymitch and Effie. I take one last look at the car before it's fully out of my sight.

**I really hope you enjoyed and I hope to update soon. I'd love it if you guys would review, so I know I'm not wasting my time. I hope you all had a merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I know I'm a little late. Thanks for reading.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I really hope you enjoyed the first chapter. I hope that you like what I'm writing and I'd really appreciate any reviews. Maybe if you have an idea of how you would like to see the story progress. Anyway this is when the drama and emotions come into play. Have fun reading.**

Katniss' Pov

As I'm driving away I see Peeta head off to Haymitch and Effie's. I see Delly walking through the neighborhood with Rory. I wave to them before I turn off onto the main road.

Finally we reach our destination; I realize he didn't wake up once which in my eyes is a miracle, considering he never sleeps in the car. I gently unbuckle him, take him out, and shut the door. I walk in, grab a shopping cart, put him in, and head straight for the party aisle. I grab all of the supplies I'll need and then, lastly I decide to go to the toys just to get a bonus present. I keep asking him which toy he likes and right when I pick up a small elephant in a racecar toy, he gets the biggest grin I've ever seen him make. It's probably because Acron's room is decorated with safari animals and it turns out that's what he loves. Peeta came up with the theme about a month before the baby shower when we were registering at the local department store.

I head up to the checkout, buy the items, and walk out the door. I put the bags in the back seat next to Acron and go to put the cart away when a nice lady asks if she can use it. I nod, grab Acron, and hand over.

Once I buckle him in and get in myself, we drive away. After I pull out of the parking lot and onto the road, he starts crying as loud as he can. I try all of the methods to get him to stop. I sing, I talk in a funny voice, and I then I think of the new toy. I wait till a stoplight, which with my luck doesn't take too long. I turn around and smile at him which still does no good. I finally spot the bag with the toy and go to grab it, as I feel my foot slip off of the brake and on to the gas.

I suddenly feel the automatic, paralyzing terror as I watch a passing car run right into mine. The last thing I remember seeing is my little baby's neck snapping to the right and then he's silent…


	3. Chapter 3

**I really hoped you guys liked the update and I really hope you like this one too. I am going to try to update every day, but with school it is not the easiest thing to do.**

Chapter 3: The Discovery

Peeta's Pov

I knock and am surprised to see Haymitch answering the door considering that's one of his greatest pet peeves… people. He motions for me to walk in and Effie walks into the room. "Hi Peeta. Where's my little Acron?"

"He's with Katniss taking a last-minute trip to the store. I just came by to see if there was anything I could do to help with the remodeling."

"There's always something needed to be done around here. Right now we're repainting the living room. Follow me." She says walking me into the room and handing over a paint brush. I smile knowing this job was tailor-made for me. After less than ten minutes I've finished the first coat.

I have just started on the second wall when Haymitch and Effie's phone starts to ring and I automatically rush to it, realizing that of course this was not his house. "It's okay, Peeta. Actually, do you mind answering it? My hands are kind of full at the moment." I answer it with a cheery hello, the Abernathy Residence.

"Peeta, I tried your house and you didn't answer, so I'm glad I thought to call the Abernathy's. I need you to come down to the hospital right now! I'll explain when you get here." I hear Officer Odair say to me. I quickly hang up the phone and run to grab my coat.

"Peeta, what's wrong? I hear Haymitch call after me.

"Hospital. Now. Follow." I say right before running out the door and to my car. I grab my keys out of my pockets fumbling to get the right key. Frustrated, I hit the window of the car, dropping my keys, swearing under my breath. All I can think of is Katniss is hurt, or Acron is hurt I'm not there. I finally find the right key, unlock the door, and get in. I pull out of the drive way, watching to make sure Haymitch is behind me.

Finally after an agonizing drive, I quickly park and run into the entrance, not even thinking about Haymitch behind me. I rush to the front desk and quickly find Officer Odair. He nods and automatically starts walking down a hallway, motioning for me to follow him. I nod and start following. We stop in front of the elevator; he turns me around to face him and whispers, "There's been a crash, Katniss is stable, but I'm so sorry we couldn't do anything to help your son." At that sentence I know where we're going… the morgue.

**Thank you all for reading. Favorites/Follows/Reviews all just make my day.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hope you all enjoyed the last chapter and I'm just going to dive right in to the story. I also wanted to add that if you like the story or even if you don't let me know in a review. All reviews are greatly appreciated and favorites/follows are also. Thanks for reading and enjoy. **

Chapter 4: The cold, hard truth

Peeta's Pov

"Peeta?" Officer Odair asks me.

"Does Katniss know?" I ask hoping I can be the one to tell her the tragic news.

"No. After she was stabilized, they decided it would be best to sedate her." Officer Odair tells me. "The coroner would like to know if you could come and identify the body."

I nod understanding what I am about to have to do. We silently walk into the elevator and he presses the last button. The ride is excruciating, knowing deep down I am not ready for what I am about to have to do. It's not supposed to happen in this order; the parent is supposed to die first and now I'm am about to face my worst nightmare right before my eyes. The door opens and I see the coroner standing in front of a large metal table with a cloth covering the horror that is underneath. She slowly uncovers the small form that is underneath, lying there is the little boy who, just a week ago took his first steps, with his neck looking dislocated. "If it's any consolation, he went instantly. He shouldn't have felt any pain." The coroner tells me. At this point I have tears running down my face.

I would give anything to be able to see those bright, blue eyes just one more time. I quietly ask them to give me a moment. They quietly walk out of the room, as I kneel down to brush the soft curls away from his forehead, feeling the cold, pale skin that just yesterday was warm, and full of life.

"Hey little guy. I just really want you to know how much I love you and I wish, so much, that I could take your place right now. You did NOT deserve this. I also want you to know that your Mommy loved you so much and I know she would take your place too if she could. God, why did this happen to you? God, why couldn't you have just taken me instead? I love you, buddy. I love you so much." I say while holding his tiny hand, praying for him to just give me a light squeeze, signaling that he's okay, but to no avail. I have tears streaming down my face.

"I love you." I whisper before letting go, covering him back up, and walking back towards the elevator.

I travel back up to the main floor, not even bothering to clear my face up even the slightest bit. I decide I need to find Katniss, so that I can be there when she wakes up. I kindly ask the nurse where she is. "She's in room 209. Down the hall and to the right, I'm very sorry for your loss Mr. Mellark."

"Thank you." I say and off to find Katniss and as I'm walking I realize I haven't seen Haymitch or Effie since I got here. Oh well, I need to focus on Katniss, right now. I find the room and silently walk in to see her sleeping, or at least that's what I think. She has IV's hooked up to her arm. She's in a neck brace with a cast on her right arm and as I move a little closer I see she has bandages on her ribs where they're poking out of her hospital gown. I gasp at the frail sight before me.

"Peeta?" I hear her say in a raspy voice. I jump not realizing she was awake. She tries to turn over on her side, but winces from the pain.

"Don't worry, sweetheart. I'm right here." I say, as I brush a piece of hair out of her face.

"Peeta, where is he? Where's our son?" She says with a worried tone in her voice.

"Katniss… he didn't make it."

**So, I really hoped you like the chapter. Please don't forget to follow, favorite, and review.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry about the lack of updates. I have had a whole lot of school work and I have a speech that I am preparing for, so I'm really trying to write also. But, it's not the easiest thing to do. Anyway, hope you enjoy the story.**

Chapter 5: Grief and Denial

Katniss' Pov:

"What do you mean 'he didn't make it'?" I ask, not understanding. "Peeta, where are we? What happened? Where's Acron?" I say starting to freak out and trying to get out of the bed.

"Katniss, please calm down. Calm down." Peeta says while restraining me and forcing me to lie back down.

"Peeta, answer me. What do you mean? What happened? Why am I here?" I ask with fear apparent in my voice.

"Katniss." He says starting to cry. "You were in a car accident. Do you remember that?"

"No." I say, not knowing at all what he's talking about.

"Officer Odair said that you had made it out with only a few broken ribs, a broken leg, and a slight concussion. Now Acron was in the back seat of the car and he just wasn't strong enough, so when the police got there he was already gone, but apparently he went quickly and didn't feel any pain." Peeta says.

"No, you're wrong. He's fine. He's just sleeping. Here just bring him to me and I'll go wake him up."

"No, Katniss honey, he's gone. He's not gonna wake up. He's gone." Peeta says while holding my hand.

"No, he's just sleeping. And if you're not going to go get him, then I will." I say trying to get up, but he keeps forcing me back down. I try one last time and then give up when I can't overpower him. Also because the room is starting to spin and I'm having really sharp pains in my ribs. "He's really dead?" I say starting to cry. He gives a small nod and I curl up into a ball, not caring that the pain is reaching a whole nother lever by this position. I killed my son. I killed my baby and he's not coming back. I repeat those words in my mind over and over.

"Can I see him? Please?" I whisper with tears streaming down my face.

"Katniss, I don't think that would be a good idea. You can't walk and you wince every time you move." Peeta says with a sad tone.

"Please?" I beg. I need to see him. He walks out and comes back a few minutes later with a wheelchair and Officer Odair.

"Hey Katniss, How ya feelin'?" Officer Odair says while walking toward me. I don't respond. "I'm gonna lift you up and put you in the wheelchair and if at any time you need me to stop because of the pain, just tell me. Okay?" I nod as I look at Peeta who is locking the wheelchair in place, so I can get in. Officer Odair leans down to pick me up and scoops me up in one quick motion. I wince and try to cover it up. He pauses and says "You okay?"

"Yea." I say quickly. He walks over to the chair and carefully sits me down in it. We walk to the elevator and Peeta pushes me in. He presses the last button and I finally face the reality that we're about to go down to the morgue, where I will watch my cold, pale son's body lie.

**Please don't forget to review/follow/favorite. Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed it.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry I haven't updated, I've just been really busy. Anyway, I hope you're enjoying the story and I really appreciate the reviews. I know it's been a little depressing, and I apologize if you think it's too much. Please feel free to leave me a review if you have any idea of how you would like to see the story progress.**

Chapter 6: When Reality Sinks In

Katniss' Pov:

When we arrive at the last level, I see a blonde-haired girl standing in front of a large metal table with a large cloth covering it. She walks over to me and suddenly embraces me in her arms. "Mrs. Mellark I am truly sorry for your loss." She says while her eyes began to glisten with tears. She steps out of the way and Peeta takes charge in pushing me over to the table. I glance back to see the girl and Officer Odair walk back out of the room. I mouth to her a small thank you which she immediately nods in response. Once I'm only centimeters away from the table I see the small form poking out from underneath the cloth. Before we even left my hospital room, I promised myself I wouldn't cry because I know that if I start I'll never be able to stop. I slowly lift up the sheet and reveal the small being that I carried around inside of me.

"Hey, my sweet little baby boy." I say with tears forming in my eyes and then I feel one fall. Then, I feel multiple tears coming after. I can't seem to stop them. Peeta holds out his hand and I enclose mine in his. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart. It's all my fault. I was supposed to protect you. God, Acron I'm so sorry." I say while brushing the tiny curls away from his forehead. "I love you and I always will, okay? You're always gonna be my baby boy. I love you." I whisper barely audible. I lean down and softly give him a kiss on the cheek. Then, suddenly it's as if I can barely feel him move the slightest bit.

I start screaming for Officer Odair, the girl, a doctor, a nurse, anyone. Peeta tries to calm me down, but it won't work this time. I have adrenaline coursing through me. My son's alive and now I have proof. I push him one last time and he stumbles back, losing his balance. Two doctors run in with nurses crowding behind them. "He moved! He's alive! You were wrong! He's fine!" I say wiping my tears again and whirling the wheelchair around to face them. One of the doctors walks over and holds a stethoscope up to my baby's chest.

"Katniss I'm sorry. There's no heartbeat." He says after walking over to me and kneeling on the ground, so that we're eye-level.

"No you're wrong!" I say with a triumphant tone.

"Peeta, I think Katniss has had enough for one day. Why don't you just wheel her back up to her room?" Peeta goes for the handles, but as soon as I hear this, I whirl around and run over Peeta's good foot, knowing that the other one would do know harm considering it's just a piece of metal. I hear him curse under his breath and go for the handles again. This time I turn around and bite him on the hand, as I feel my ribs scream out in protest. Suddenly, I feel a small prick in my arm and once again I see my world go to black.

**I really do hope that you all liked the chapter and I would just like to mention that reviews/follows/favorites are really helping me update faster. They always bring a smile to my face. Please don't forget if you have any kind of comment on the story, feel free to review and also don't forget to follow and favorite. Thanks!**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Going Home

Katniss' Pov:

The rest of the hospital visit is pretty much a giant blur. I don't really remember anything except for eat, sleep, and take drugs the numb me from everything that surrounds me. I faintly remember Peeta telling Haymitch about what happened. I remember the doctors put a cast on my leg a few weeks ago. Then, I remember something about hearing I broke Peeta's foot. Next thing I know, Peeta's waking me up and saying it's time we have to go home. I can't bare the thought of having to go home with an empty car seat, but he says he has already checked me out. He helps me out of the bed and into my real clothes. I must say I am glad to get out of this hospital gown. He then picks me up and sets me down in the wheelchair. For the first time in weeks, I notice that my ribs don't feel like they're gradually spitting in halves. As he walks, I notice, it's almost as if he's doubly limping. I simply look down to see his foot in a large black boot.

After I settle into the wheelchair, I whisper, my voice raspy from nonuse, "Peeta?"

"Yeah, sweetheart? What's wrong? Are you okay? Is it your leg? Does your head still hurt? Should I go get a nurse?" He says looking at me with panic in his eyes.

"Peeta, I'm fine." I say while watching relief seep into his features. "I just really wanted to apologize for your foot. Umm, at the moment, I just couldn't think straight and it seemed as if everyone was against me, so snapped. I wasn't thinking and I'm sorry."

"Katniss, it's fine okay?" He says to me as if I am a small child. I nod in response and he unlocks the wheelchair. Then, he grabs my bag and starts taking me out into the hallway. After he finishes up some last-minute paperwork, we're able to leave. As we reach the automatic doors, I catch a glimpse of Haymitch's car.

"Why's Haymitch here? Where's your car?" I ask for some reason, desperately needing the answers.

"The doctor said it's best if you go straight home and I have a tiny errand to run." He says while wheeling me over to the car. He gently lifts me up and opens up the passenger door to reveal Haymitch, who is looking at me with saddened eyes. I have curled my thin body into Peeta, Wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Peeta?" I whisper, terrified of having to get into the car.

"Yeah?" He replies with a gentle tone.

"I can't get into that car. I'm really scared. Can you maybe just get them to sedate me one last time?" My voice, sounding like a little girl's, knowing without it the anxiety will overwhelm me.

"Katniss." He starts out, clearly not liking the idea.

"Please?" I say with tears in my eyes.

"I'll go see what I can do." He says and then sits me back down into the chair. He then comes back out with my doctor. She counts to three, and then once again that sweet darkness envelopes me once again.

**Please don't forget if you have any kind of comment on the story, feel free to review and also don't forget to follow and favorite. Thank you so much for reading.**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8:

Haymitch's Pov:

Peeta picks a dead-to-the-world Katniss gently places her next to me in the passenger seat. He kisses her on the cheek. Then, he leans her head against the seatbelt. "I have to go get her car today and take it to the mechanic. I don't even know if she'll want it back but I at least have to get it fixed. I really appreciate you taking her home. " Peeta says while wrapping Katniss' hoodie around her upper body. "I'll be home right after."

"It's fine. I hope you know that anything I can do to help you two, I'm here for you." I say while starting my car.

"Thanks Haymitch." I hear him say as he shuts the car door and steps back. I put the car in drive and drive away. He waves and I return the favor. As I pull onto the main road, I start thinking about the day Katniss and Peeta told us about her pregnancy. Peeta was overjoyed, but Katniss on the other hand wasn't as excited. I continue to remember that day…

*FLASHBACK*

I had heard the doorbell, of me and Effie's apartment, ring and since Effie was busy with her magazine, I decided to answer the door. I look through the peephole to reveal a shaking Katniss and a grinning Peeta. I slowly opened the door and invite them in. They gradually make their way into the living room and Effie lays her magazine down onto the coffee table. Peeta sits on the chair with Katniss sitting on his lap. "So what brings you by?" I ask while sitting down next to Effie on the sofa.

"Well actually we have some news that we'd like to share with you. Right, hun?" Peeta says with a giant grin plastered onto his face.

"Oh, uhh… yea." Katniss says while lost in her own thoughts. A few moments go by in silence.

"Well, what's the news?" I say impatiently.

"I'll let you tell them." I hear Peeta whisper into her ear.

"No, you tell them it will be easier. You're better with words than I am." She whispers back in a low tone.

"Someone just please tell us!" I say a little aggravated by the wait.

"Katniss, it's your news to tell. Considering…" That's all I hear before I hear Katniss blurt out.

"Fine. I'm pregnant. There I said it!" Katniss looks at me for some kind of recognition, but I'm still in complete and utter shock, considering what happened the last time. I see her frown and walk over to me. I finally come to my senses and hold out my arms. She gladly walks into them and sits on my lap with her arms draped around my neck.

"That's great, Sweetheart! I'm so happy for you!" I whisper into her hair, as I feel her tears trickle onto my shoulder.

"Umm, Peeta why don't you and Effie start talking about baby stuff while Katniss and I go talk in the other room." I see Peeta almost begin to protest, but Effie begins talking and he drops it. I make my way into the kitchen with Katniss slowly trailing behind me. I sit her down in a chair while, still holding her hand, I sit next to her. "So, how far along are you?"

"I don't know, maybe four weeks. I didn't want to tell him because there's always a

chance, but he found it and I didn't know what to say." Katniss says with tears falling down her cheeks.

"So you didn't tell him about your miscarriage like Dr. Aurelius told you to?" I ask always knowing deep down that she'd never tell him because she knew what it would do to him.

"I tried, but I just couldn't! Haymitch I can't go through that again." She say with tears now streaming down her face.

"I can't guarantee anything, nut I know this time will be different. So just stop stressing and enjoy it. Okay?" I say trying my best to calm her down.

"Thanks Haymitch. I love you."

"Love you too, darlin." I pull her into a hug and then the rest of the night was filled with laughter and joy.

*END OF FLAHBACK*

When we arrive at their house, I take Katniss upstairs and tuck her into bed. After a few hours have passed, Peeta gets home. After I grab my things, I decide to go check on Katniss one last time while Peeta walks into the kitchen. As I reach the door of the bedroom, I see her big, grey eyes staring back at me and I hear her whisper, "Thanks Haymitch. I love you."

All I say is, "Love you too, darlin."

**Hope you liked it don't forget to follow/favorite/review. Thanks for reading.**


	9. Chapter 9

**So as you may know, I decided to take down Chapter 9 and rewrite it. So, just totally forget the first Chapter 9 and pretend like that never happened. I got a little help from a viewer and now I realize that I needed to slow down the story a little. I hope you all enjoy this rewrite and don't forget to tell me what you think.**

Chapter 9: Trying to be okay

Katniss' Pov:

I got home yesterday and as I lay there in bed, I think about all of the happy memories that I've had this past year. It's hard to think that I'll never be able to make any more with my sweet, little boy. I decide to quit before I start crying again. I hear Peeta walk up the stairs and knock on the door. "Come in." I say. I sit up straight as I see a tray in his hands.

"Hey, alright so I didn't know what you would want to eat, so I pretty much made everything you cold possibly want for breakfast." He says with a small smile as he walks into the room. He sits down next to me, on the bed. I give him a smile as I see the array of food that he sets down in front of me: Fluffy, yellow scrambled eggs, a stack of waffles and pancakes drenched in maple syrup, a small bowl of mixed fruit, strips of bacon, biscuits, tiny muffins, etc. I immediately pick up a sizzling piece of bacon and shove it into my mouth. Next I go for the pancakes. I continue to eat until I couldn't possibly shove in another bite.

"Thank you so much. It's been a while since I've had a good meal." I say with images of the bland, soggy food I was forced to eat at the hospital.

"No problem. I just wanted to do something nice for my wife." He says while leaning in to kiss me and I immediately jerk my head to the side which causes a sharp pain to radiate through my head.

"I'm sorry, Peeta. I was just… I just can't… Not right now…." I say immediately feeling awful.

"No it's fine. I shouldn't have… It was my fault." He says which makes me feel even worse. He gets up and softly kisses me on the cheek.

"Would you mind taking me downstairs just to get a change of scenery?" He nods and gently picks me up. It's always amazed me how Peeta is so strong and yet he is the gentlest man I know. He carefully takes me down the stairs and sets me down on the couch. I'd prefer walking, but with my leg, I don't see that as an option. He hands me the remote to the television, but I decide against it. I lay down onto the sofa and no matter how much I squirm, I can't seem to get comfortable. Peeta walks back in with a stack of pillows and situates them under my foot to elevate it. I absolutely hate this cast. It weighs me down and it makes me feel even more uncomfortable. The doorbell rings and I can feel my muscles tense up at the alien sound.

I watch him leave and come back with a rather large package. He walks back into the living room and I feel the couch shift slightly due to the added weight. He pulls out his pocketknife and opens the box up. As he reveals the contents, I see the color drain from his face. I struggle to see what's in the box and suddenly, he closes it back up and walks out of the room, while taking the package with him. After what feels like half an hour passes, I decide in need to go find him. I slowly get up and without putting any of my body weight on my right leg, I begin to hop into the kitchen. That's when I hear the sobbing; it's not loud, but loud enough to barely hear.

I approach the situation with caution. "Peeta, is everything alright?" I say in a soft voice when I finally reach the doorway. He immediately wipes his eyes and walks over to me.

I see the box on the floor and before I have time to hop over to it, he picks me up again and tells me, "I am fine, but you should be resting. So, I guess everything won't be alright until you lay back down."

"Peeta, don't play games with me. What's in the box?" I say with a hint of annoyance at his attempt at changing the subject.

"Oh, that? That's just a package that was supposed to have been delivered weeks ago." He says exaggerating his words at the end.

"Mm hmm and late packages always make you cry?" I say knowing that he's lying through his teeth.

"Of course, I do!" He says and I don't push it any further. I know it had something to do with Acron and right now I can't deal with any more grief or sadness. He lays me back down and turns to walk back into the kitchen.

I blurt out, causing him to turn around, "Peeta, can you maybe lay down with me just until I fall asleep?"

"Always." I hear him say as he walks over and lays down next to me. I feel his warm, strong, sturdy arms wrap around me and I that moment I feel that me and Peeta might just be able to work through this together. Forever and always.

**So, I really hope you enjoyed this chapter. I really would like some feedback, so if you have a comment feel free to review or PM me. Tell me what you like about it and what you hate about it. Anyway if you do like it, please, please, please follow and favorite. I really do appreciate it.**


	10. Chapter 10

**I am so sorry I haven't updated in a while. Hopefully my fellow writers out there can relate to me when I say, sometimes you really don't have the time to write. Anyways, here is the next chapter, and I hope you like it.**

Chapter 10:

Peeta's Pov:

I wake up at some time around 1:00, and I see that Katniss is still asleep. I gently get up off of the couch and pull the blanket at the foot of the sofa up to cover her small form. I silently walk into the kitchen, while brushing my fingers through my disheveled hair. As I walk through the doorway, I see the box that was the source of my emotional breakdown.

After gaining enough courage to go near the box again, I sit down at the kitchen table and pull the box up onto the table. Inside the box is a slightly smaller box wrapped in blue and white spotted wrapping paper with a perfect white bow on top. The tag on the box says, 'To: Acron, my dearest grandchild/From: your grandmother, who loves you so very much/Sorry it's a little late' in neat cursive handwriting. I know that this must have come from Katniss' mother, since my mother passed away from cancer a few years back. This small detail, the way she wrote Acron's, my son's, my baby's name sends me into a crying fit again. All day, every day I try so hard to be strong for Katniss and not let my grief show, but it's not easy.

I decide to open the present, even though I know it's just going to bring on more pain and suffering. Inside is: a tiny baseball cap, a stuffed tiger, little shoes, tons of tiny outfits and at the bottom is a framed picture of Mrs. Everdeen holding Acron. The words "I love you more than you'll ever know" are engraved at the top of the frame. Seeing his tiny face full of life and joy and happiness makes me start sobbing even more and then out of nowhere, I hear Katniss call out for me. In a few swift motions, I put all of the gifts back into the box and close it up.

I walk back into the living room and she automatically realizes something isn't right. "Late package?" She asks, looking up at me.

"Yeah." I say, hoping she will just drop the topic, because I'm not quite sure what she will do if she lays eyes on the contents of the package. I sigh and make my way over to the couch. I kneel down beside her and take her hand in both of mine.

"What's really going on?" She says and I know in that moment I won't be able to keep this from her anymore.

"Your Mom sent Acron's birthday present and… I didn't want you to have to deal with any more right now." I say, while pushing the hair off of her forehead.

She gives me a small smile and says, "I just kind of want to be alone right now." I frown, knowing I should have kept my mouth shut. I gently brush my lips across her forehead and get up to leave. "I still love you, you know?" She says as I am almost out of the room.

"Love you, too." I say after going back into the kitchen. Suddenly, I hear the ring of the telephone. "Hello?" I say after picking it up.

"Peeta? Hey. It's Finnick Odair and I'm really sorry if this is a bad time, but the morgue is wondering what funeral plans you had in store? The medical examiner needs the space and I'm very sorry, but if someone doesn't come and take the body. It's hospital policy that they'll be forced to cremate him. I got you another day, but after that it's out of my hands."

"Ok. Thanks. I guess I'll call the funeral home and arrange everything." I say with a deep amount of sadness in my voice.

"I'm sorry I couldn't have done more, Peeta." He says before he hangs up the phone.

**I really hope you all enjoyed the update and I really am sorry for the wait. Next chapter will be the funeral and then after that a twist will be happening. Anyway, please don't forget to review/follow/favorite.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Ermahgerd y'all I am so sorry for not updating in like a really long time. I know you probably either hate me for the lack of updates or you really don't care and you just forgot about the story. Alright so this is the funeral visitation chapter and I hope you enjoy it.**

Chapter 11: Seeing a Familiar Face

Katniss' Pov:

I'm sitting on one of the reserved pews in the front of the funeral home holding on to what little sanity I have left with my crutches propped up next to me. Peeta's standing up at the front along with Haymitch and Effie next to the casket, with an array of yellow tulips surrounding it. They're al three shaking hands and accepting the kind words from all the guests. At the beginning, I tried to be up there as well, but it was all too much especially with my sweet, baby boy lying in the tiny, white casket not three feet away from me, so I made the excuse that my good leg was tired from having to put all the weight on it. The casket was closed. I just couldn't bear the thought of having to see him like that again. Everyone was trying so hard to be kind and offer comforting words, but none of it helped. They all didn't know what it felt like to lose an infant. And they sure as hell didn't know what it felt like to be the cause of your innocent child's death, so all in all their words weren't helping a bit.

I had no desire to come here today, but Peeta wouldn't stand for it. It was the first time in months that he had raised his voice at me. In the end, I agreed that if I didn't come today that I would regret it for the rest of my life. Deep down inside, I knew the strong, independent woman who had once occupied this body was being no longer in control. She was being replaced by a woman who was struggling with grief and sadness.

Within two hours of the visitation, I couldn't take it anymore I had to get out of that room and fast. Right after, Delly Cartwright, Peeta's best friend, had finished her speech about how everything happens for a reason and this will just make me stronger, I stood up on one leg, grabbed my crutches, and hopped as fast as I could out of the room. Once I felt my foot leave the red carpet and step onto the hardwood floor in the hallway, I knew I had made it out safely without anyone attempting to stop me. I headed down the hallway and into the lobby with only a few people around. There was a giant staircase off to the right and on a whim, I decided to hop up the stairs just to see what was up there. After a long struggle and a lot of effort, I reached the top step. I saw an empty room with tables and chairs. I decided to step in to get a closer look; inside was sort of like a kitchen. It had cabinets lining the walls, an oven, a giant refrigerator, and two microwaves. There were dishes everywhere with tags on them. Each dish had a different meal in it, such as: casseroles, sandwiches, soup, etc. You name it; it was probably in that room. The tag on a small casserole said, "For: The Mellark Family/With much love, The Undersee's". I smiled a tiny grin at the thought of Madge and her family.

"You hungry, Catnip?" A person asked me from the doorway. I'd know that voice anywhere. He was my best friend, the person who could make me smile when no one else could. It was Gale's voice. I turned around. Right when I saw his face, I dropped my crutches, jumped into his arms, the arms that used to hold me at night when I couldn't face the night alone, and wrapped my legs around his waist. I buried my face in his neck as he wrapped me up in a strong embrace. Before I could stop it, tears were streaming down my face. I knew Gale wouldn't mind. "I'm so sorry Katniss." I heard him whisper in to my hair.

"I missed you." I said as I held on tighter to him. I was in no hurry to let go of him and he didn't seem to mind. After about five minutes, he walked over to one of the tables and pulled a chair out. He gently set me down in the chair and went to go grab my crutches that were on the floor and walked back over to me. He propped them up on the table and then took a seat next to me. "So, who told you?" I asked with a sense of confusion in my voice.

"Peeta called me. He's worried about you, Kat." He said while taking my hand in both of his.

"Do you remember that night when my Dad died? We were in the hospital and the monitor flat lined. At that moment, we all knew he was gone. Then, you just took me in your arms and held me in the chair next to his bed." I say while wiping away the remaining tears in my eyes.

"Yeah and when they went to take him to the morgue you kissed him on the forehead and closed his eyes." He said with deep sadness in his voice.

"Well that night I felt like I was drowning and no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't reach the surface. Ever since I said my goodbye to Acron, I've had that feeling and no matter how hard I try I can't overcome it." I say while letting one tear fall; then, wiping away the rest because I can't cry anymore. I won't let myself. "I want more than anything to have him back, but that's not going to happen, so I'm trying my best to be okay with that reality. I'm sorry if I can't be as okay with this as everyone else is, but I'm trying."

"Katniss, I'm so sorry I wasn't here." He says starting to cry himself. I gently hop down off of my chair and wipe away his tears.

"No, you were out doing what you love and living your dream. That's why you left me in the first place and I don't want to be the one who causes you to give up your dream to take care of me. Plus, Peeta's proven to me that he can do that job perfectly well. Anyway, I should get back downstairs." I say as I grab my crutches and begin to hop out of the room.

"Katniss…" He says a little hurt while getting up to follow me.

"No. I'm perfectly fine without you Gale. I've already proven that." I say with an edge of anger in my voice. I make my way down the stairs and as I reach the last step, I see a tall, beautiful girl with long, blonde hair walking hand in hand into the hallway with a handsome, young man. I call out as I reach the hallway, "Prim?" She turns around to look in my direction and runs over to me. She pulls me into an embrace and I whisper into her ear, "Hey, little duck."

**So that's it. I promise I will try to update as soon as I can. Be prepared for a shocker coming up. Please, if you enjoyed the story, Follow/Favorite/Review. It always brings a smile to my face. Thanks for reading.**


	12. Chapter 12

**I really hope everyone enjoyed Chapter 11 and I hope y'all enjoy this one even more. This is the funeral chapter. To everyone, who has followed or favorited or reviewed, I really want you to know that I am so grateful and appreciative by how you guys are responding to the story. I have always had a passion to write and to see that people actually enjoy reading what I write is one of the best feelings in the world. Anyway, I also just wanted to say that I am most definitely not an expert at funerals, so please don't hate me if I cut it a little short. Warning: I don't write lemons, but there will be a hint hint sort of thing in the chapter, but keep in mind it will most definitely not be graphic or inappropriate. Enjoy. **

Chapter 12: Saying Goodbye

Katniss' Pov:

Prim and her boyfriend, Rory, Gale's younger brother, are staying with Peeta and me. It's nice having her here with me. I just wish it were for another reason. Today is Acron's funeral and then the burial. I look to my right and on the alarm clock, which reads 3:00. I could barely sleep last night wondering about what this dreadful day has in store for me. I force myself to get out of bed because I know if I stay here in this bed, then I won't be able to stop thinking about the horror that my life is. I carefully stand up on one leg, grab my crutches, and leave the room without disturbing Peeta. I slowly make my way through the hallway and down the stairs silently. I go into the kitchen and begin to brew a fresh pot of coffee. Even though I've never really enjoyed the taste, I know I'll need something to get me through the day. Once the coffee has finished brewing, I pour myself a cup and gulp down all of it, straight, black coffee. Normally, this would be the equivalent of torture for me, but now I can barely taste it.

When we arrive at the funeral home for the second time in two days, I feel my chest tighten as I see the graveyard right next to the brick building. I quietly go in focusing on not letting my emotions leak through the cracks that is my life now. Peeta guides me to a room that resembles a small chapel. I sit down again in the same seat I sat in yesterday.

The entire service is a bit of a blur. I can hardly focus on anything but the tiny casket right in front of me. Occasionally, I'll feel the reassuring squeeze of Peeta's hand as I see him struggle to hold back the tears that he is determined to keep restrained. Haymitch is sitting on my left while Peeta is on my right. I can see Effie, who is the only one trying not to hold back tears, sobbing with her head resting on Haymitch's shoulder. Prim and Rory are sitting to the right of Peeta. Before I know it, the ushers from the funeral home are sliding doors, which enclose everyone except for the first two reserved rows. The pastor tells us this is the time for the family to say their goodbyes. He then proceeds to walk out of the room. Effie and Haymitch go up first. I faintly hear Haymitch whisper a prayer with one hand on the casket, while Effie silently nods along. Then, Prim walks up there with Rory and in a hushed voice whispers, "I love you, my sweet, little nephew."

Peeta then stands up and helps me up. I don't bother grabbing the crutches; I wrap one arm around Peeta and then hop towards the small, white casket. I slowly lift up the lid to the casket and see my baby boy lying there motionless. He looks so peaceful as if he's just taking his afternoon nap. I wish that is all that was going on, but I know that is not the case. I gently press my lips to his tiny forehead and softly bush my hand across his cheek. Then, I lean down and whisper, "I love you." I turn and wrap my arms around Peeta's neck. He lifts me up and I wrap my legs around his waist. He engulfs me into his strong and sturdy arms. I bury my face into his neck and he gently closes the lid to the small, white box.

He never leats me go. He keeps me wrapped in his arms for the remainder of the day. He doesn't let me down once.

Haymitch, Gale, Rory, Vick, Cinna, and Finnick all are pallbearers. Peeta was one, but he decided to stay with me. Once they've set the casket into place, Effie and Prim walk up to the grave, and lay a white rose onto the casket. Then, Peeta walks me up there and I lay mine down with tears in my eyes. Once we sit back down, the pastor says a prayer and then they begin to lower him down which excruciatingly painful to watch, so I turn myself around. I whisper into Peeta's ear while sobbing, "I can't do this. I can't breathe. I feel like I'm going down there with him."

He just holds me tighter and whispers back, "I know baby." After a few moments, I realize it must be over because everyone starts to leave. I feel people pat my shoulder and whisper things to me, but all I can think about is my baby, buried in the ground and it's my fault.

I must've fallen asleep. When I wake, I'm in bed and it's dark in the room. I get up and hop out into the hallway. I sit on the top step and I hear Peeta say, "I hear something. She probably just woke up. I'll be right back." He gets halfway up the steps, turns the corner, and sees me sitting there with my head resting on the wall next to me. "You alright?" He says with a sense of deep sadness in his voice.

I just nod my head, not able to form words at the moment. He picks me up and carries me down the stairs. I see Effie, Haymitch, Prim, Rory, Gale, and my mom in the living room. Peeta lets me down. "Mommy?" I say while starting to cry again. She wraps me in her arms and I sob into her shoulder.

"I know sweetheart, I know." She whispers into my ear while stroking my hair.

After everyone leaves and Prim and Rory go to bed, Peeta walks me back up the stairs. "Let's take a shower like we used to." I say into his neck. I feel him smile and nod.

"Okay you go ahead and get in and I'll go grab your crutches." He drops me off in the bathroom and walks back out of our room. I undress and step in. I turn the knob all the way to the right to soak up all of the heat I can manage. While, standing on one foot I begin to shampoo my tangled hair. I hear the door to the bathroom open and then the sound of clothes dropping to the floor. Then, I feel him wrap their strong arms around my waist. He proceeds to finish shampooing my hair while lovingly running kisses across my neck. I turned around and passionately kissed his lips. He picked me up and I wrapped my legs, once again, around his waist. The rest of the night was full of love. It was the first time in a while that I actually like myself again.

**There it was. Therefore, you get the picture, but I really didn't want to go into detail. Anyway, hope you enjoyed it and if you did don't forget to follow/favorite/review. Expect a curveball coming next chapter. Bye.**


	13. Chapter 13

**I am so terribly sorry for not updating. I just have really not found the time, but anyway enjoy this and I promise I will update sooner. **

Chapter 13: Whole Again

Katniss' Pov:

It's been about two weeks since the funeral. Everyone went back home. I was sad to see them go, but at the same time, I knew they had their own lives that they had to get back to.

Peeta and I are finally getting back to a form of a normal life. He's gone back to work at his bakery, which creates consistency for him. I can now walk, but with a giant, black boot on. I guess it's better than the alternative of not being able to put any weight on it.

Before I can even open my eyes, I feel overwhelmingly nauseous. I can feel the vile liquid making its way out of my body. I make a mad dash for the toilet. Thank goodness, I made it just in time. After I finish, I flush it all down and take a seat on the closed lid, a process I have repeated over the last few days. I'm glad now Peeta has had to go into work early this week. He would make a big fuss over me and that's not something I want. I brush my teeth twice to get the awful taste out of my mouth. Then, I walk out of the bedroom and down the staircase.

I shuffle into the kitchen, still dressed in my pajamas and pour myself a glass of cold water; then, I glance at the clock to see 4:16. I pour out the remaining water into the sink, once I'm finished and walk over to the couch. I reach for the remote and begin channel surfing. Nothing really seems to grab my interest, so I just decide to leave it on the local news and attempt to fall asleep again. Sure enough in not time, I yawn and the next thing I know I'm transported into a dreamless sleep.

When I wake, I notice a blanket is wrapped tightly around me from head to toe. I smell wonderful scents emanating from the kitchen, so I decide to follow the pleasant aromas. Instantly as I reach the doorway I can feel the heat radiating from the ovens. A smile takes over my lips as I see Peeta making some sort of soup. I wrap my arms around his waist from behind and instantly he turns around and kisses my lips with so much love. "So how's your stomach feeling?" He asks me as he pulls back.

"What do you mean?" I ask him, trying to seem oblivious to why he would ask me that.

"When I first walked in, you were in the bathroom throwing up. When you were done, I carried you back to the couch and when I got back with a wet rag, you were already asleep." He explains.

"Oh I thought that was just a dream." I said, while my cheeks turned red.

"I've already made an appointment for tomorrow morning at nine and asked Posy to take over for me tomorrow. No ifs, ands, or buts, I'm taking you to the doctor." He says, knowing I'd immediately object. Every time I have to go in for an appointment, Peeta practically has to drag me there, but this time I won't put up a fight because I know I'll never win this battle.

"Fine." I say reluctantly.

I'm already feeling anxious about not just the appointment, but also the drive, yet as I sit in the middle of the front seat, snuggled into Peeta, I feel almost relaxed. When we arrive, Peeta fills out what seems like endless paperwork and I am finally called back. As we walk back into a hallway of closed doors. The entire time I feel an overwhelming sense of unease, especially after the nurse said she was going to take my blood along with my blood pressure and weight. I've always hated needles and that has not changed throughout the years. Once she takes everything she needs, she tells me that the doctor with be in soon with my results. "Everything's going to be fine, so stop worrying, okay?" I nod as he kisses the top of my head, then sits back down and folds his hands together.

The doctor walks in with an unreadable expression on his face. Peeta stands up to shake his hand. Then the doctor shakes my trembling hands. He gives me a reassuring smile, but it has no affect, since I always seem to anticipate the worst. He pulls a chair over to me and sits down. I'm going over so many awful scenarios, but what he tells me next shocked me completely… I'm going to have another child.

**Sorry about the cliffhanger, but I'll do my best to update soon. Thanks for reading and don't forget to follow/favorite/review.**


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